You see, I have this rule. I think a beer should have 5 percent alcohol.
I believe in this so much that I wrote article 2b section 5 of “The Official Lagerblogger Beer Grading Laws of the Game” to state; and I quote:
“Where a maximum overall score is 5/5, a beer shall only receive this maximum overall score if the alcohol content of said beer is 5% per unit volume or greater. Should a beer be tested with a lower alcohol content, the maximum attainable score shall not exceed that beer’s percent alcohol volume.”
In other words: this beer is awesome, but it has a shockingly low alcohol volume of… Wait for it… 3 percent!!! This means the maximum score i can give this beer is 3/5.
I mean, I can’t just ignore the rules because then there really would be no justice! I cant do it, it’s not like I am a criminal, or a liar, or a Boston Bruin, I have to do the right thing.